Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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