i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
