i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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