It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
