I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
