they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
