I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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