Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
