I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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