So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize