Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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