I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
