Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
