Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
