You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
