After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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