We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are we still banned from the library?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
