I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You left your phone here
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