I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
