I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
