dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
