I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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