How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize