Sponge bath it is.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
