Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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