Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
