i just google imaged poop.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
