Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
