**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Found the puke drawer
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
