I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize