I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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