If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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