Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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