His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
