I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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