mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
