I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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