Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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