let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
