Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
