I think my fart just growled at me.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
