Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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