i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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