our cab driver is having phone sex.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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