question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
