Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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