hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
