I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
