just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
