I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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