she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
