Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
