She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
