Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
