My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
