I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
