this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
